Proud Parent

As a parent, it is both sad and wonderful to see your children grow in independence and become adults.

Our married daughter, the oldest of our two children, is a perfect example of causing us to be proud.

She married her high school sweetheart, live further away than we would like (I am sure they feel that it’s still too close). Last weekend, we spent a long weekend with her and watched her negotiate and buy their first home. Her husband is in the US Air Force and was not home at the time.

As I sat back and watched her question the realtor, I thought to myself, “My little girl HAS grown up.” She asked smart and thoughtful questions…making a parent proud enough to think that you didn’t do such a bad job after all.

The main reason that I started out to write this was because of an article that I ran across in a scrap book that our daughter started for her Air Force husband. It gives me reason to be proud of our daughter and military son-in-law. While it is not my words, it does express another reason why we should be proud of our nation’s young adults.

Before I share it, I also want to make anyone who should read this aware of a movement happening in Illinois and hopefully throughout the rest of the US. On Sunday, June 30, 2007, the Illinois Lieutenant Governor will announce that there will be a statewide advisory referendum to mandate that the US Congress provide full funding for this country’s veteran’s benefits. I am happy to say that yours truly helped write the original draft of the resolution that has already been past by the Chicago City Council and Cook Country Board. Every US citizen must demand that our national elected officials provide the benefits that our veterans deserve and are not getting because of under funding and congressional neglect. Enough of my soup box...

Below is the article by Crystal Lavadour of the 92nd ARW Public Affairs office:

Why spouses do what they do

Recently, my husband was a groomsman for a good friend. At the rehearsal dinner, the bride’s uncle pointed a camera at me and asked me to give a message to the couple. My mind went blank. I had only met the groom a couple of times and had never met the bride.

Then I realized that the bride was about to become a military wife. Having only been one myself for a couple of years, I knew I was no expert, but I felt I should say something to welcome this woman into the family of military spouses.

I rattled off something that I hoped sounded encouraging and profound. Later, I realized just how true my works were.

When I talk to friends who married engineers or bankers or window washers, they are amazed at how different my life is because the man I married is in the Air Force. When one was upset that her husband was out of town for a week, I couldn’t help but laugh.

With a deployment, professional military education and all of the little trips that our jobs require, my husband and I have only spent a total of four months together since last November. And he is preparing to deploy again.

Of course, we are luckier than some. Many service members are spending more than a year and a half in Iraq.

I asked myself, why do spouses of military members put up with everything, especially the separations, that come with being married to the military?

The quick answer for me was that I love my husband and hour months a year with him is better than nothing, but that sounded so simplistic. I was sure there had to be more to it.

Then one week later, I got my answer.

My flight had been delayed and the airline was putting me up for the night in a fancy hotel. On the shuttle, I met a soldier form the same flight. He only had a couple weeks of rest and relaxation leave fefore returning to Iraq. Having missed an earlier connection, he had already spent more time in the airport than he should have.

After hearing his tale, I remarked how awful that must be.

“Yeah,” he sighed. “My poor wife.”

I was so moved. He wasn’t upset that another of his few precious days back in the United States were wasted waiting in lines and eating airport food. He was worried about his wife and how disappointed she sounded when he told her he wasn’t going to be at his own welcome home party.

His simple statement made me realize my first instinct was correct about why military spouses do what we do: It’s because of the amazing people we married. No matter where the military member is, his or her heart is alwa7s at home.

Not every military marriage survives and there is no way to know if some of those couples would have had a better chance if they weren’t a military family.

However, I’d like to think that most military spouses will agree with what I told that bride: “Enjoy being a military wife. It is incredible. It can be extremely difficult. But it is worth it if you are with the right person.”

We think that our daughter and son-in-law are with the right person and we are proud of them both.

I dedicate this video to Breann.

1492

This past week, I lost a close friend to cancer.

In early 2006, Mar came to me and told me that he had been given only a few months to live.

We have known each other for years and I value our conversations. His analytical mind, always lead to the most rewarding talks. Since he was a college professor who truly LOVED his profession, I always wished that I had had him for a class because he gave his students his ALL when he was in front of them.

While he was at an age when many of his colleagues were considering retiring, Mar was still going strong and enjoying every moment. He still felt that he had something valuable to contribute to today’s young adults (his students). He was right.

When Mario found out that he had cancer, he fought it with his entire being. He had a lot to live for . . . a young family, loving wife – Lisa and three grown children from a previous marriage.

All of us, who loved Mar, were glad that the original grim diagnosis was wrong. He made it over a year longer, but it was still not long enough.

I am sad for myself, because I’ll miss my friend.

I am sad for his family, because they’ll miss a loving dad and husband.

But most of all I am sad for those students who will miss that chance to spend time with a wonderfully dedicated educator. Such people are rare gifts now days – Mario is now heaven’s gift.